Couples - Relationship counseling
Relational health is the cornerstone to mental health wellness.
We are social, mammalian, and empathic beings who require healthy and consistent connection as a vital life source to thrive in our interpersonal ecologies.
The desire and instinct to be in relationship and connect is where we start, but why is it so difficult to sustain a healthy, comfortable, and secure connection with our partner or beloved?
A primary reason is because we are never modeled healthy relationship skills from our caregivers or those who raised us.
Therapeutic Disclaimer: It is not your fault that you were never taught healthy, relational skills to thrive in intimate partnerships.
However, you can learn how your attachment style(s) (your original ways of unconscious bonding developed as infants and children) informed your adult relational patterning and challenges and then acquire therapeutic skill to connect, bond, and love in a healthy, regulated, and passionate dynamic.
In Couple's Therapy, you will learn and practice the following methods:
Psychobiological Approach to Couple's Therapy (PACT):
Founded and created by psychologist Dr. Stan Tatkin, PACT is a therapeutic relational model specializing in neurobiological science and attachment theory. In PACT, you will intimately learn how both of your attachment styles have informed your behavioral reactions, communication styles, and trauma responses. As an antidote, you both reside in the "Couple Bubble," (Dr. Tatkin's coined term), which means you both share a singular nervous system. To maintain the bubble and support your shared nervous system, you will learn tools for co-regulation, which cultivates a dynamic for safety, trust, connection, and empathic attunement.
Non-Violent Communication (NVC):
As children, we are taught language and speech, but not communication skills or the language of emotions. Here, you'll craft a new mindful, conscious, and evolved language, rooted in the communication of feelings and needs with your partner. Working with the Karpman Drama Triangle, you'll learn how to break free from the victim-villian-hero archetypes of shame, blame, and co-dependency and take personal responsibility for your feelings, life, and relationship.
As humans, we are conditioned to be in the cognition. Naturally, we tend to "think our way" out pain or discomfort, rather than being present, conscious, and aware of our direct experience of feelings, emotions, and sensations. With your partner, you'll gently and mindfully practice how to be in relationship to your own internal, somatic experience, as well as attuning (feeling into) your partner's experience to improve communication skills and strengthen your very own Couple Bubble.
To be in relationship is challenging enough, yet the additional component of past trauma can create great complexity. Thankfully, as world-renowned trauma psychologist, Peter Levine stated, "Trauma is a fact of life. It does not, however, have to be a life sentence." Beautifully said, your trauma does not equal a hopeless future for relationships. Whether you have a history of acute, chronic, or complex trauma, you have potential to heal yourself and your relationship through psychosomatic resourcing, mindfulness-based therapy, and PACT therapy.
Couple - Relationship Counseling Rate: 80 min.; $200
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